...to keeping my head in the clouds

A place for me to express myself through muses and images.

Courage to soldier on

I am not going to punish myself anymore. In the past year I have applied to at least a hundred jobs in the area and outside the state. Ninety percent haven't called or emailed me any kind of response. I have let this invade my psyche, even though I had no really desire to work there and little to no idea who the company was I was applying for.

I knew how ridiculous this was, but couldn't help the desperate and continued search for some direction to my life. Today I walked in the park, enjoying the warmer Northwest Ohio spring day; reflecting on that enduring pull towards the arts. Always a fleeting desire pushed aside by lack of funds or time.

I can admit that those are excuses. When I submit to anything creative I always feel better! In truth, I was writing a few years ago and had all the same stresses I have today, but I felt better. My downfall was writing a manuscript and taking a real honest look at what I wrote. I exposed things I didn't mean to expose. As anyone who has ever done that, knows just how terrifying it is to see your soul bared. This is real writer's block.

I have tried, as this blog shows, to recapture that flow time and time again to no avail.

But what does one thing have to do with the other...EVERYTHING! The past weeks I have been burnt out and frustrated by all the jobs I have applied for to no avail. I have wondered if the powers that be may have something else planed for me and it's time I stop fighting it. I am not going to resolve to write more, but to submit: Two each month.

I will continue to use this space as a diary of sorts, a writers retreat and tale of her pursuits, failures, and successes.


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