...to keeping my head in the clouds

A place for me to express myself through muses and images.

Embracing Change

One year ago I walked away from a familiar life. That was harder than anyone who hasn't done it could know. No it wasn't a happy one but I learned to accept it, even embrace it in a way. With some reflection, I cannot today, recognize that person. To date it is one of the  bravest things I have done, I hoped it was going to be a good decision but the future is so unknown there was no way to KNOW. I didn't have anything but faith and hope, and on that I jumped blindfolded into the unknown.

It has not been a postcard year. But one of tremendous change; internal and external. 

I find myself ready to move on and move forward. There isn't anything holding me back: except me. Unsure of what to do, the past week I have applied to dozens of jobs with no direction or focus. As much as I would like to say: hospitality is in my past. I wonder. Of course there are many things I would never miss, but still there are many more things I miss. The family like atmosphere is one of the biggest. In this past week I have been told that I am suited for it. And I miss it. Don't get me wrong, I would love to open my own bistro. But without the financial backing and credit that looks up to the toilet, I just cannot see it just yet.

So hospitality it is! But looking around at the gray and brown landscape, the cold, bone shattering wind six months out of the year has me looking elsewhere. So could there be more changes to come. I hope so! I shall embrace the change... 

Nothing Left to Lose...

I gave seven+ years of my life to the hospitality industry. Dealing with arrogance beyond what I thought possible in people. I stayed for those wonderful people I met along the way. Both co-workers and guests. 

It's a selfless career path. I would do whatever I could to make people happy and comfortable. I realized that they were away from home and that in itself is a hard thing. I met people who spent more time in hotel beds than their own. Finding that I could make at least some difference in their comfort was worth all the grief I may get from the few people who were only happy in their misery. 


I don't think I will go back to that. I walked into work Wednesday, just after siting down to review my emails, my boss called me into her office. I prepared myself for yet another scolding, I should have prepared myself for more. For the first time in my life I was fired from a job. I will admit I was surprised even though I knew it would eventually come. For when you have a target on your back, as anyone who has ever had one knows, it's like a tattoo: only a painful surgery will remove it. 

With mixed emotions I have walked through the past days, ready to close that chapter of my life and fearful of the unknown future. There has even been cheer. So many of my co-workers have reached out. It's nice to know there was appreciation. I hope they all know how much I love them and will miss each of them.


What to do. I admit, I have no idea! So here I am. 

I took a day trip with my wonderful daughter yesterday and camera. I realize all the pictures have a theme: Loneliness.

I was going for solidarity. The images tell the truth of it. I have felt alone for so long a time that I am not sure there is any other truth. So I face the truth of it and move forward. Perseverance! I have nothing left to lose and an adventure at hand. I shall seek out my next chapter and share the trials I encounter.